Thousands of fans gather in a stadium, waiting for their idols to appear. They’re all dressed in colourful merchandise and chanting in unison. Excited energy buzzes through the crowd; infectious anticipation courses between everybody.

How did you picture the fans?

Were they girls at a music concert preparing to see their favourite artist? Or were they male sports fans getting ready to watch a game While both are quite similar, I can tell you one major difference: one group gets mocked for their dedication while the other, even when their passion turns aggressive, is still granted a level of respect and seriousness.

I’ll give you a hint- domestic violence increases in the UK after their national team loses.

I’ve been involved in fan culture since I was a kid. It started with being a Taylor Swift fan in 2009, a hyperfixation I’ve never outgrown despite what my parents thought. I connected with her music in a way I still do as an adult, and I found a community of people who felt the same way. 

I kept stumbling upon similar moments as my interests grew. Books were my safe haven, and I was on Tumblr as one was in the early 2000s, reblogging posts discussing Percy Jackson’s character arc, or why Katniss Everdeen is the perfect protagonist. I was there when Supernatural was at its peak and you couldn’t scroll through Tumblr without a Supernatural fan adding a gif to a reblog. Then came my anime and K-Pop phase which meant a lot of my doomscrolling largely took place on Twitter.

I can look at any phase of my life and point to a fandom I was a part of. I can also tell you that, at any given phase, I often saw my interests being mocked by men who were doing the same thing I was… just with sport.

I got into an argument with a dude once about why it’s better to be a sports fanatic than a fan of anything else. His response was, “Well, it’s because I don’t idolise them and I’m not crazy like girls are.”

He said this while wearing a Manchester United t-shirt with the name of his favourite player on his back.

Based on my experience, I’ve found that if women form the large majority of any fandom, it’s grounds to be mocked and not taken seriously. I’ve seen it when I used to feel bad for telling people I was a fan of anything. If I told anybody I was into K-Pop I’d get an immediate yikes face. Being a Taylor Swift fan elicited an even worse reaction, because why on Earth would I like somebody who only writes about her failed relationships? However, I realised that even when I tried to show an interest in what I consider male-dominated fandoms, my interest was still scrutinised. When I forced myself to be into football so my interests could be taken seriously, I was, according to men, only watching it for the eye candy. I never told them that I was a lesbian so my eye candy and theirs were probably the same; they would’ve just found another way to belittle my interest in football some other way. 

Feminine joy is mocked because society loves to use women, especially teenage girls, as their punching bags while simultaneously using them as cash cows. This is grounds for another discussion entirely so instead, I’d like to show how a fangirl’s passion can be used for good in comparison to their male counterparts.

In 2020 when the Black Lives Matter movement resurged BTS fans organised an online campaign using the hashtag #MatchAMillion to match BTS’ donation of a million dollars. They reached their goal in just over 24 hours. Combined, that would equate to over $2 Million raised by BTS and their fans in two days. Sports fans, on the other hand, have been known to racially abuse the black players on their favourite teams. An effigy of a black 22-year-old soccer player, Vinicius Junior, who plays for Real Madrid, was hung off of a highway bridge last year in Madrid. This is on top of the monkey chants the player has endured when he’s on the pitch.

Outside of racially motivated differences in fan behaviour, we can also see differences in behaviour between men and women in male-dominated fandoms. In February of last year, Philadelphia fans rioted the streets when they lost to the Chiefs for the Super Bowl. After Taylor Swift started dating American footballer Travis Kelce some time in the autumn of the same year, there was a four hundred percent increase in sales for Kelce’s merchandise after the first Chiefs game she attended.

I want to make it clear that I’m not ignorant of the fact that some female fans also take it too far. I think obsession in any fan culture can be dangerous and harmful. But how often will you hear of fans rioting after a K-Pop concert as opposed to when a sports team loses? I’ve been to tons of sports matches and concerts over the years, and the times I’ve felt safe and comfortable are when the majority of the fans are women. Because, for the most part, when it comes to women in fandoms, it’s about community. It’s staying up late to edit video clips of your favourite idol and share it with people who you know will appreciate the time you put in to make it. It’s making art together and seeing other people inspired by the same things you are

It’s forming online friendships with people from different continents and then meeting them when the stars align and you attend the same concert together. You gain skills through fangirling too- video editing, photoshopping, communicating, organising events, writing, editing -all of which you can utilise in the workplace. 

The heart that loves these books, movies, and singers she’s never met is the same heart that allows me to believe in the possibility of a world where we’re kinder to each other, connect with strangers over shared passions, and find beauty in small moments. I’m past feeling shame for my interests, no matter how ‘girly’ or ‘frivolous’, but maybe the next time a woman shares an interest of hers, think twice about wrinkling your nose.